Jim’s Christmas Letter
My Name Is Andrew Robinson, But you can call me Jim.
I’ve been a good boy this year because I haven’t killed, maimed or even harmed anyone thus far. I haven’t committed any crimes bar the occasional traffic misdemeanor.
Apart from that, I’ve fed my family, walked my dog and kept my financial and social affairs in order. All in all, It hasn’t been a bad year excepting the disgracefully poor excuse that Britain calls Summer. I did go on holiday to Spain for a week, though. It was nice. I found a new favourite lager there, Cruzcampo. They sell it in that supermarket (the Spanish call them Supermercados) down the road from the hotel on the left hand side of the road opposite the roundabout, you know.
This is what I would like for Christmas:
1) I would like a Wooden Fair Trade Card Holder, because I love a good card game.
2) And I would like some Suma Naan breads, because they are tasty and I enjoy curries.
3) I’d also like a Kids Fair Trade Cotton Doggy Rucksack for my nephew, Asher. Here is a picture of him http://d.pr/GFvY He will be one on the 17th of December, so some extra Christmas presents will come in handy.
Oh and Just One More Thing…
If I could have one wish this Christmas it would be for Rachel in the office to make me more coffee. And for Slade to be banished into the underworld at Christmas-time.
Whilst listening to my favourite song, which is Driving Home for Christmas
When You Come to Visit
The best way to get to my house is to look for the garden with the white and ginger dog in it, and the house that has a dog’s sausage toy on the roof tiles. I tried to throw it from the back garden to the front and, well, let’s say it didn’t go the whole way.
But Make Sure You’re Careful Of the chimney. I don’ t have a fireplace, but funnily enough I have a chimney. So be careful of that. I have an electric fire, so you might as well come through the front door. The dog will bark at you, but just give him an angry look and he’ll flee in the opposite direction. If you’re dropping presents off in the living room though, make sure you keep the kitchen door closed as it gets quite cold.
When you visit, I promise I’ll leave you out a Sky+ control and all of the Die Hard’s recorded.
And I’ll leave Rudolph the sausage toy off the roof.
With Lots of Love
From Jim x
P.S. I once saw my dad bringing in a bike from the back of the car at about 12am on Christmas day when I was 8 or 9. He said you’d dropped it off in the front garden, but I’m not so sure. But then again, you couldn’t fit an 18-speed red Emelle racer down the chimney (at least with the wheels on) so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. This time.